Content Note: This section has references to chronic pain and trauma, including sexual trauma.

 

"I really like sex. Like a lot.I'm also a sex magician...(More on that later) And I also have significant trauma, including sexual and relationship trauma"

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For much of my early adulthood, the very mention of sexual pleasure and empowerment would immediately trigger me. I struggled with an array of sexual and intimacy-related issues that no amount of therapy seemed to “fix.” Despite always feeling like a deeply sexual being, there were times I had zero libido and even felt repelled by sexual touch.

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So how did I get into intimacy coaching? Great question. Get a snack, and I’ll tell you about it.

"You don’t have to believe in magic to work with me, but it definitely makes the story more entertaining"​

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When I was 16, Kundalini was awakened in me (more on that later, too). In almost every way, my vitality shot through the roof. I went from feeling extremely depressed to energized and ecstatic over night. I was brimming with love, curiosity, and a feeling of interconnectedness.

"My sexual energy, too, drastically increased"

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I remember my first kiss like it was yesterday.

 

Though I had no words for it at the time, my whole chakra system lit up. The feeling of sending and receiving energy via touch— what I now know to be skin activation— was electrifying. Yet the energetic openness that made this wonderful gifting and receiving possible also made me very vulnerable to harm. The same people with whom I could share ecstatic pleasure became my victimizers.

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"Over the course of my early adulthood, I experienced what felt like an unending cycle of traumatization that compounded with my childhood trauma. Life began to feel void, and I lost interest in nearly everything, including sex."

 

Don’t get me wrong, good stuff happened, too— but the lows were extremely, arguably life-threateningly low. When I was 30, I was finally diagnosed with CPTSD.

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By the time I was 33, I was experiencing chronic pain on a daily basis for which no physician could over meaningful help. My nervous system was in full revolt; I was going down whether I accepted it or not. I finally relented in acknowledgement of the fact that my bodymindspirit was in need of meaningful rest and deep healing; I got onto my healing path in a more determined way.

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And I’ve been on it ever since.

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My journey along this path has been anything but linear; sometimes the plot twists come one after the other, which is good by me— I like adventure! Cultivating self-compassion and self-love, developing a meditative practice, tending to my healing, listening to my intuition, getting to know my selves, and unlocking my magic have slowly but surely brought me into alignment with my purpose. Healing has also allowed Kundalini to move freely again and rekindled my inner spark. This process has shown me that with time, attention, and intentional care, we can heal and empower ourselves physically, emotionally, spiritually, and sexually. I have come to understand the relationship between healing and the erotic as sacred. Reclaiming our erotic power can take us to new levels of pleasure and intimate connections. Beyond this, healing our erotic selves is a path to understanding our connection to the divine.

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"Everyone’s healing path is unique, yet no one heals in isolation"

 

We can encourage and learn from each other as we move into more healed and empowered forms of ourselves. Healing is sexy, sex can be healing; I am in continuous study to learn more about this interrelationship. And I continue to be inspired and encouraged by what I find along this path.

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If any of this resonates or sparks your curiosity, let’s talk about how pleasure, intimacy, and healing connect for you.